Change: A Group Effort (pt. 2)

Last week we talked about two non-negotiables to our transformative change process: God and the Church, our spiritual family.

We also “have everything we need for life and godliness” in the Word of God, the Bible. The Word aids us in knowing more fully and therefore loving more deeply the God who made us and the how to bend that love out to others.

But what about when we experience the need for extra help in a specific area? When we have trouble aligning our theology with the realities of our everyday lives?

Maybe we feel stuck or controlled by our emotion.

Maybe we keep repeating patterns that we know are destructive to ourselves or others. Maybe we know we haven’t dealt with a past hurt or trauma that we suspect could be impacting current relationships.

Maybe we are debilitated by depression or incapacitated by anxiety and not sure how to persevere.

Maybe we experience sleeplessness or other physical symptoms that are dangerous if not dealt with.

I could go on and on. We are complex creatures. What an incredible Creator we have.

And yes, while he can heal us with a word or a touch, God often uses the expertise and gifting he has given to others to benefit us.

There are absolutely times to see professional help and next week’s blog will be all about seeking out professional and even medical help when needed.

But before we go there, I wanted to talk about some options BEFORE we consider professional counseling, psychiatry, etc. I’ll suggest a few options and I’d sure love to answer your questions about any of the following.

Biblical Friendship

The only two things you can take into eternity are your relationship with God and your relationship with other believers who you will spend forever with. There is so. much. Scripture. about the value of a godly friend.

When I am stuck, the FIRST thing I do besides running to God is run to a friend who loves and knows Him too. There is nothing like vulnerably, vocally processing a struggle with someone who loves me and knows me and can look me in the eye and remind me that God is compassionate to my struggle while reminding me of truth and encouraging me towards faith and obedience. I am currently reading a great resource book about this topic. If you want to understand more about HOW to find Biblical friendship, check out Find Your People by Jennie Allen. I hope to explore SO much MORE about this on my upcoming podcast...stay tuned ;)...

Mentoring

We need to hear from those ahead of us. Those believers who have seen God be faithful all of their lives. The elderly saints who have perspective on all we are wrestling through to tell us what will really matter to us years from now. The parents who have raised children and have wise advice.

In my early 20s, I was was meeting weekly with an older woman in my church and reading through the whole Bible, memorizing Scripture and soaking up wisdom for her many years of following Christ. I can still remember things that she said but mostly I remember that Jesus was her treasure- that impacted me most. She sought me out but it can (and should) go either way!

It is Biblical that older women teach younger women how to follow Christ so YES, pursue mentorship if you possibly can and if you are in a place to mentor others, seek them out and make yourself available. Putting the formality around a scheduled meeting time can be part of holding yourself accountable to do the internal work with God that you long to do.

Biblical Counseling

My master’s degree is in Biblical Counseling so I’ll show my cards and say that I see much value in the pursuit to offer counsel to people from a biblical perspective. A biblical counselor is not necessarily licensed by the state to provide counseling (although they can be) but they focus their counsel on helping a client apply Scripture and a Biblical worldview to their circumstances that brought them to counseling.

A few advantages to seeking out a biblical counselor could be that it may be more affordable than a licensed therapist and more importantly, you know the framework of the counsel you are receiving. I normally see clients for 8-12 sessions over the course of 3 to 6 months, sometimes longer, depending on the situation.

Spiritual Direction

There could possibly be other definitions of spiritual direction but I’d like to explain it here as this: allowing another person to help you discern what the Spirit of God is doing in your life right now. In my experience, this often ends up connected to some sort of suffering in a person’s life because we often ask deeper questions when our status quo is disturbed, don’t we? But it doesn’t have to be that way! I went to meet with a spiritual director in my early 20’s, early in marriage because I knew I was bringing some unhelpful patterns from my perceived role in my family of origin into our marriage. What I uncovered with my spiritual director, Judy, was that this had also skewed the way I viewed my relationship with God and she gave a me some great, practical ways to create new relational patterns in my time with God, which therefore impacted my soul and many of my relationships for good. Spiritual direction often includes times of silence, listening to the Spirit's direction and seeking to tangibly allow God to bring things to mind that He wants to bring to light.