Creating Rhythms That Shape Your Life

I am writing this post because you asked for it and honestly I am so encouraged. So encouraged that you want to learn how to line up your schedule and habits with your actual values and priorities.

Because that's what planning really is.

I am planning to do a part 2 post called Creating Rhythms to Tend Your Soul because habits and schedule and structure are great pursuits but so are many other gifts like silence, listening, reflection, gratitude, etc. If we neglect our souls, our planning will simply contribute to our facade of control that so many of us desire so deeply but that leaves us so miserable.

With that disclaimer (and the hope that you'll come back to read part 2), I hope some of these practicalities are helpful to you.

What to expect

Dave and I laugh that we still live our life like we are college students, thinking of our lives by semesters. So our "quarterly" planning is more like triennial planning (yes, it's a word- I looked it up) and it usually takes place in August, January and May.

For what it is worth, I will share fairly specifically what we do in case it is helpful to you! It has brought huge benefit to us and I'm so happy to share it. But a few more specific disclaimers I want to mention.

1) We do this as a family unit of a married couple with kids but this could be beneficial to you in ANY stage of life, single or married, parent or not. It's never too early to start being intentional.

2) Make it your own. I'm sure there are aspects of what I share that you will not relate to or even agree with. Use what you can and ditch the rest!

3) Expect this to be clunky and even stressful at first. It's a lot to think about and you don't have to incorporate all of it all at once. Baby steps are still steps.

Ok, here we go.

Where to begin

Start with what you value. Values lead us to priorities and our priorities lead us to our family rhythms.

Our family has chosen 5 CORE VALUES that we want to pursue and live out to the best of our ability.

I will share them as an example but of course, create your own!

Design by my incredible friend: Michal Rudolph

Core Values of Turner Family:

LIVE IN AWE OF JESUS:

We believe Jesus is God, our savior, truest friend and who we follow. We will not/cannot force our kids to believe the same but while we raise them we will point them to Jesus as the answer and LOVE that everyone is ultimately looking for since we believe we were created by him and for him.

We want to be a family who loves being with Jesus through His Church, His Word (the Bible), and Prayer. We talk about who Jesus is, his character and what He has done for us and for ALL people often.

OPEN HOUSE TO ALL :

We want our house to be open to and used to serve ALL kinds of people.

GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS/ LIVE GENEROUSLY:

We strive to be generous with our time and resources because we believe they are not ultimately ours but given to us to steward for in the world.

GO TO ALL:

We are invested in God's mission to reach all people with the gospel- the good news that Jesus paved the way for all of us to have a personal relationship with God. We share this and want to be a part of this being shared locally, nationally and internationally.

RISK WITH GRIT:

We want to take risks. We don't want to live safe lives of comfort but brave lives on mission.

These value guide what we decide to prioritize in our day to day lives.

Whatever you decide your values are (and you definitely don't have to have five), make them visible in some way. We hung them over our couch but you don't need to be so drastic ;). Maybe list them in the front of your planner or on a sticky note on your fridge.

We become what we behold. Fix your view on what you value.

Where to go

It's time to let your values drive what you prioritize in your rhythms, schedule and budget.

We like to ask the following questions each semester. These questions often lead to longer discussions so we try to do our meeting over the course of at least 2 dates and sometimes even add in a night away. Don't rush the discussion. This is where the good work happens.

Oh and expect some conflict! Now that we know that there will be some hard work done in these convos, we are less surprised or bothered when that takes place.

Feel free to use these questions or perhaps even better, create your own, come back to them at each meeting, and tweak them over the years.

Learning to ask good questions is at the heart of beginning to grow.

Rhythms/Themes- we talk more broadly at this point of the conversation, looking for themes we want to address and things we want to incorporate organically.

Spiritual-

*How can we encourage other in our relationship with Jesus this season?

*What is Dave/Lauren’s plan for spending time with Jesus this semester both daily and some sort of extended time.

Parenting-

* Is there anything within our parenting that we want to build into our life/make sure to do?

*Anything we want to change?

*Anything we see in our kids that we want to encourage/celebrate or address/challenge?

Church-

*What does our involvement and investment in the church look like this season?

Mission & Discipleship-

Who are people we want to share gospel with/reach out to?

Who are leaders/people we want to invest in?

What is our plan for doing that?

*Quick note: as you can see, these are very connected to our faith, parenting, and our desire to develop other people as leaders (this is something we are both really passionate about). Your priority list might look extremely different than this but figure out what questions you want to re-visit to make sure that your priorities match what you want to give your life to.

Scheduling- This is where we get more specific on what is going in the calendar weekly, monthly and sometime before our next planning session.

*Weekly- What do we want our weekly rhythm schedule to look like this

semester? (i.e family nights, how often we are having people over, time to

give each other time to work/rest, etc.)?

*Monthly- What do want our monthly rhythm schedule to look like this

semester (i.e. date nights, special outings with kids, hosted events- books clubs, parties, etc.)?

*Semester- Is there anything we want to make sure that happens this semester(i.e. trips with friends, retreat together, things with the kids, etc.)?

Budgeting- Money always has to be a part of the discussion because if you really want to see where your priorities are, don't just look at your calendar, also look at your "checkbook" or I guess your Venmo these days...

*Spending- Is our spending following our vision of knowing Jesus and making him known? Is there anything we need to change with our budget? Are things realistic?

*Saving- Do we need to increase our saving or prepare for buying something soon?

*Generosity- Is God leading us to give more? To who?

I can't wait to field your questions and you make some version of this your own. And remember, stay tuned for part 2 because we need to talk about Creating Rhythms that Tend our Souls.

In this with you,

Lauren