Creating Rhythms that Tend our Souls

Just as outward, physical and mental habits do not just happen but rather require intention, so do our inner lives and I'd even argue that these rhythms require even more intentionality.

There is so much that could be said but let's look at four rhythms that are a great starting point to begin tending to your soul. It's important to remember that we can't actually care for our own souls alone but rather we simply lead our own souls to the caretaker- Christ himself.

Here are some ideas of how to lead your soul to your Shepherd's tender care.

I'm using the acronym SOUL to aid you in remembering.

Slow down

I know. It doesn't sound revolutionary but never before in the history of the world have we had this amount of noise, stimulation, or distraction from our inner life. We have more options to "numb out" and ignore our souls than ever before. I would encourage slowing down in a few ways and I'd also highly recommend reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer -- a deep dive into this issue in our culture and in how to fight for more healthy freedom from hurry.

Daily Pauses

I would encourage a habit of silence and stillness at least 3x per day-- possibly morning, noon and night. These are opportunities to notice our thoughts and feelings and adjust and align them through reflection and prayer. I'll dive into that more thoroughly in the next practice.

Weekly Sabbath

We are told in Scripture to honor the Sabbath -- a 24 hour period where we cease from striving. I'm confident there is freedom in how this looks practically but the idea is to remind yourself that you can an should work from the REST that God offers you and not the other way around. We have nothing to prove or earn, instead our efforts and obedience are a response to the love and grace we've received. We are so quick to forget this so a weekly reminder is so necessary. This might sound luxurious but you may also find that it is actually very hard to do. I often battle through fear of getting behind or not accomplishing what I want to get done. This habit reminds us how little we control and that God does not ultimately need us to accomplish His work.

Extended Rest

We don't all get the same number of vacation days but we can all take a break from social media or projects we've assigned ourselves or even make sure to give ourselves proper sleep. We personally love to do one week per year screen-free as a family but we plan for times, usually on the weekend and in the evenings, to rest and rejuvenate.

Taking in Glory and Beauty

I would encourage also taking in nature or music at some point during these pauses or at other times during your day. Go outside and simply look up at the sky. Go for a walk and observe the beauty of creation. Turn on music that reminds you of the beauty of God and the life he has given us. Stare at your children and think about God knitting them together--no two people the same. Cuddle your pet. Dance or exercise, celebrating that your soul is housed in a wonderfully-made body. Savor a cup of tea or a favorite treat and praise God for senses to enjoy life.

Observe Yourself

The least confrontative way to confront someone is to ask a question. I would suggest that we should do this with ourselves.

How often do you ask yourself questions in order to see more accurately what is happening internally and therefore expressing itself externally?

Here are some go-to questions to help you get started. I'd encourage finding at least 1x per week to ask yourself these questions. Consider journaling your answers as this helps our brain and heart connection.

1. What has happened this week?

2. How do I feel?

3. What narrative have I written about these events or my feelings?

4. What would God's word and who He is say to me in these circumstances? (consider looking up Scripture to reflect on)

5. What do I need to shift? How do I need to respond for the good of others and for myself.

Understand Factors

This is where we take our observations a bit deeper. Wherever we see results in our lives that we know is not good "fruit" blooming, we need to practically think through what factors are contributing, both those that we can and can't control, and adjust accordingly.

Another analogy is this:

When you see smoke you know there is a fire and in the previous observation stage we are looking for that fire. In this understanding step we are looking at what kindling made up the fire and what struck the match to start the blaze.

Let me give a personal example...

A recurring conflict with my husband, each time we have welcomed a new baby, is surrounding schedule commitments. It has gone south often because the way it manifests is me showing anger or jealousy at the "freedom" he has in his schedule. For the record, he is extremely helpful but obviously these seasons require different things from both of us.

So let's unpack this. The smoke is often me talking in an irritable tone or being snarky. The fire is that I'm angry and jealous that he has seemingly more "free" time than I do.

But what is building that fire in those seasons is normally sleep deprivation, overcommitment on my part, a lot of little ones needing things from me all day long and boredom from being stuck at home much of the day.

What lights the match is a schedule commitment on his part. But as we can see, there is a lot of kindling that was already built into a perfect little wood pile for burning ;).

So this part of this soul rhythm dives into more practically making a plan to care for my soul so I don't get to this point.

This has included remembering that God is compassionate to my exhaustion and that my husband deeply cares for me too! It also includes getting more sleep or scheduling a nap, putting hours on the calendar that my husband takes over so I can know that I'll have slots to get things done, reminding myself that although these seasons are hard, they are also GOOD and relatively brief, as well as confessing my bitterness and jealousy and sinful and wrong and asking for God to change my heart through gratitude to both him and my husband.

This is not an easy, automatic shift. It takes awareness and intention and repentance when I get it wrong again. But a new muscle and pattern is built over time as I think deeply about my soul in these interactions and go a new way rather than what is my natural tendency.

Love Others

I always feel passionate about reminding us all that as we do soul work and soul care for ourselves, this should also lead us outward with more to give to others because we have been refreshed by the love of God.

Let's be honest. We don't always feel like doing this. Acts 20:25 tells us that it is better to give than to receive--so don't miss out on the JOY of giving yourself away to others.

This might look like generosity with your time, your resources or your talents.

I love to take time to ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind who He would want me to love in an intentional way and it has been incredible to have ideas come to mind that I know are not my own.

If you aren't sure where to start, maybe create a prayer journal and write down specific things to pray for people. You can ask the person what they would love you to pray for or you can simply pray God's word back to Him about these people that He loves fully and knows perfectly.

We love because He first loved us. So sit in His love and then let this compel you outward to those around you.

In this with you,

Lauren