The Case for Self Awareness

If you need directions on how to get somewhere, what crucial piece of information do you need besides your destination?

Your current location.

Where you are is imperative in order to figure out how to get to where you want to go.

Transformational change also has to start with an accurate assessment of where we are.

This can be called self-awareness.

I love this definition:

"Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards. ... Put simply, those who are highly self-aware can interpret their actions, feelings, and thoughts objectively.

-Shelly Duval & Robert Wickland

I would make the argument that this is diametrically opposed to the more trending (and possibly more attractive) terms such as:

Self love (having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness)

Self acceptance (accepting all of one’s attributes both positive and negative)

I have found over the years that the above concepts actually encourage people to ignore or excuse lack of alignment in their life— ultimately leading to perhaps some temporary relief but in the end long term destruction both for themselves and for those around them.

It is my humble opinion that we do not need to be taught how to accept and excuse and love ourselves. This is our natural bent. We will naturally do this.

I want to suggest that moving against this is the true beginning of change.

Let’s add a few disclaimers here that may be clarifying.

I am not against self care (the practice of taking action to preserve one’s own health)— in fact I think self awareness is a form of self care.

I am not for self loathing (extreme criticism of oneself). I am for taking an accurate appraisal of oneself.

I am for us being who we were meant to be.

We are created in the image of God, meaning we can reflect the beauty of the most glorious being. Like a mirror, we are not the source of light but we can reflect light.

And like a mirror, smudges and grime can impact the clarity of the reflection.

Self awareness is the work of finding the smudges. Where do I not reflect who I really am?

The truest thing about you is that you were made in the image of God -you can reflect his perfect, beautiful characteristics for your joy and for the good of others and this brings Him honor because He made you for this.

However, other things are at play in you too. Nature, nurture and choice have played a part.

You were raised by imperfect people at an extremely impressionable time.

You have suffered in a world that is breaking down over time.

You have chosen to do the wrong thing.

You have had wrong things done to you.

You have had lies spoken to you in a million forms through what you look at and listen to.

You’ve found ways to escape or cover pain so you don’t have to deal with it.

This is true of all of us on some level.

But this isn’t the ULTIMATE truth about us.

Here’s where the work begins (it's not the whole work-- we're simply talking about the starting point for now).

We need to choose to become self aware before we can heal and change and live out of truth rather than out of hurt and lies and brokenness.

You will not naturally drift to accurate self assessment anymore than you will drift toward healthy choices for your body. You will naturally excuse, explain, avoid and blame.

You have to choose to assess where you are.

I hope you will --knowing that change is necessary, possible and available to you through the work that God wants to do in you through His Spirit.

Are you ready?

My friend Elizabeth Hughes and I have written a self awareness reflection guide that we want you to utilize! You can find it on the resource page of my website or right HERE.

This is a FREE downloadable.

I want to encourage you to take the assessment and observe what you discover. I also want to encourage you to share it with a friend and discuss it together.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to leave you hanging there with your results.

In upcoming blogs (and other surprise unveilings) we will explore:

*how to grow in self awareness over time and through practices

*what do to with discoveries made as we become more aware

*how to discern your best next step towards healing

*how to walk with God in the every day in order to reflect more of Him

But for now let’s start with discovering where we are so we and get where we want to go.

In this with you,

Lauren