What does kill you makes you stronger (intro to a new series)

This is the intro to a new series in which I plan to share some more personal stories that have shaped me over the years. I'm afraid it could be easy to think that a counselor perfectly applies what she has studied and taught others in her everyday life ;) but I hope it's comforting and helpful to hear that the growth process is very similar in all of us...slow, unsteady, difficult, and vulnerable.

This is why I sign each blog "in this with you". I truly am.

All of these stories are being shared on the basis of a premise that we find throughout the teachings of Jesus. This premise is that there is a death of sorts that happens in us throughout our lives that is the means to more life and flourishing.

It sounds a bit unpleasant doesn't it? But let's unpack this more.

When I think about growth, I think about plants. Long before we see the actual sprout, stem and eventual fruit or flower, there is a seed. Do you know what happens to that seed when we put it in the ground, cover it with dirt and let it receive rain and sun?

It dies. Yes, the actually seed is no more but out of it sprouts the beginning of the growth that we will eventually see above the surface.

In this series, I want to explore all of the aspects of this process and what this looks like in our actual human experience because if there is one thing that I find every single person I encounter seeking, it's growth.

And we mostly pursue it externally because that is what we are told to do.

We add restrictions to our behaviors. We set goals. We take in more information. We spend money on things to improve us or to feel good about ourselves.

And we do often see results!

But if we are honest, I'm not sure most of us are experiencing the amount of growth we would like to see. Or we see growth but it seems temporary or circumstantial.

I would venture to say that this is because while we absolutely can experience some positive, real growth on the surface of our lives, real, lasting change comes from the inside out.

This starts with seeds being planted, then taking root, and eventually producing ongoing fruit season after season and multiplying to the world around us.

How do we get there?

Let's go back to the seed and the dirt.

Before we even talk about what will eventually happen to this seed, let's talk about what is this seed that is planted in our soil? How do we get it in there? How do we make the soil ready for planting?

I want to take us to the parable of the sower that Jesus taught in Matthew 13.

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed.4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

In this parable, first, there is a farmer who is sowing seed. The farmer represents Jesus and the seed represents the Word of God.

So we need to pause there because Jesus is communicating at least two things right there. He is revealing that He is both the source of the seed that we need and his words, character, essence, Spirit is the seed we need planted in the soil of our hearts. He is the source and He is the seed.

He is absolutely communicating (as He always did) that He is the ONLY source of truth and goodness. He never apologized about that because it's actually the best news. We don't have to be confused on who to listen to and how to know what is ultimately true and good. He is the source of it. Our job is the humility to receive and believe that. There is no "my truth" or "your truth". There is Jesus: the Truth.

So He is a willing sower, wanting to produce beautiful growth through our hearts and lives, so what does He do? He scatters seed-- willingly, abundantly. I'm sure you can think right now of the many ways that truth and goodness have been offered to you over the years.

But then what happens? The seed falls on different kinds of ground.

And based on the type of ground it falls on, the fate of the seed is determined.

18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

You can see it above: some is eaten by birds, some is choked out by thorns, some falls on hard rocks.

The seed is kept from getting into good soil by two things: outside forces and lack of good soil.

These outside forces are the reality of living in a broken, fallen world.

Sickness, financial stress, evil done to us... this world is broken and things are not as they should be.

We also have an enemy in the spiritual reality who is wanting stunted growth and decay at all costs. We are promised that evil will be fully defeated but for now our enemy has limited power and access that is real and felt.

We can't control the above forces. But there is something else to see here.

The lack of good soil.

Our hearts are often not soft and full of good soil READY to have good seed planted in us.

Why? Well that is exactly what we talk about on this blog.

And we are about to take a deep dive! You ready?

There are many reasons that we don't see the growth we hope for and I'm going to unpack those things through personal stories over the coming weeks and months and I just know they are going to resonate with you because we are all unique but we are all similar in so many ways. It's part of why we need each other. We need each other's stories. What a beautiful design.

Good soil that allows the seed to be planted, die (more on that soon) and give way to beautiful, flourishing, multiplying growth is not only possible but it's absolutely what we all want and are looking for.

We just need help tilling, hydrating and nourishing the soil to ready it for the seed that will, through what might initially feel like death, give way to the strength and growth we all so desperately long for this side of heaven.

In this with you,

Lauren