What does kill you makes you stronger: when our own weaknesses threaten to undo us and why they actually should

It's the end of summer. Labor Day weekend marked it for us here in Raleigh with night time temps finally dropping to the 60s. We took a final trip to the beach this past weekend. Fall is coming and with it the promise of new rhythms and fresh beginnings.

It is time to wrap up the summer blog series with one more topic that I believe is relevant to all of us at some point and often at many points during our lives.

We've discussed when we are threatened and hurt by the world around us and when are hurts are brought to us by the wrongdoings of others.

But what about when our weaknesses threaten to undo us?

This is yet another opportunity to come out the other side of these seasons with deeper strength.

What might this look like?

Let's explore at least three common categories of weakness that we will most likely encounter at some point in each of our lives. And as I committed to in this series, I'll share some personal stories to flesh this out.

Physical weakness

We are embodied souls. Our bodies are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made (Psalm 119) and do incredible things for us throughout the course of our lives.

But we are in the process of decline and decay as long as we live.

These bodies experience the effects of a broken world in so many ways and in certain seasons, effect our ability to do the things we would like to do and to feel the way we would like to feel.

Physical weakness can be in the form of sickness or fatigue or injury but it can also be experienced in our mental state.

It can be so frustrating to feel physically weak, especially for a long period of time. We often develop emotional and spiritual pain from the experiences of physical weakness.

Looking back about 10 years ago, I am fairly certain that I walked around with undiagnosed post-partum depression after the birth of my daughter.

The fatigue I felt daily was debilitating after being up multiple times at night and the irrational anxiety that I felt about her safety was emotionally exhausting. I also experienced feelings of hopelessness and irritability and anger that did not match the situations I was navigating.

It did not help that I was in graduate school and working at the same time. I was overcommitted and stressed. I had digestive symptoms and episodes of panic and I remember thinking often, "can someone just take care of me?"

You might ask, how, as a counselor, I could miss these signs, but my PPD did not show up until my daughter was close to 18 months old and I was unaware that symptoms could develop so long after giving birth.

This season passed about 6 months later when my daughter was fully weaned but the ways that my body responded during that season showed me the reality that our struggles, while they may manifest emotionally and spiritually, so often have a physical component we have to address.

I took a deep dive into taking care of my body after this season. I sought to get enough sleep and to exercise daily. I started feeding myself the types of food I really needed and was put on a regimen to heal my digestive issues (90% of the serotonin that our body produces is in our gut so this is key to evaluate with any emotional disorders).

I went to counseling to process the anxiety I was experiencing. I began to take a 24 hour Sabbath each week and fully rest from work and producing. For awhile, taking care of my physical body became a part time job but it was so worth it.

I slowly started to recognize myself but I wasn't the same person I had been before this season.

I was now someone who didn't run my body into the ground in order to get things done. I was now someone who listened to my body when I was getting signals that I needed rest or food or a deep breath. I was now someone who understood that anger and irritability were signs of anxiety in me.

Some of you have experienced much more severe seasons of physical weakness through a devastating diagnosis or a serious injury. I can't speak to those firsthand but I have larned so much from the journeys of others who have suffered physically (Joni Erickson Tada, Kathleen Wolfe and so many more).

When we cannot produce, we are faced with what we have to offer the world and our relationships without being able to "perform" in all of the ways that our society values us.

In fact, we have communicated as a society that the unborn and the elderly don't have the value that others have because they are not "contributers" to society.

But that is NOT what Jesus said about ALL human beings.

We have value from the womb to the tomb because we are made in the image of God. Not because of what we do but because He set His love on us and called us his children, his friends and his beloved people.

I have known stories of people who are bedridden but have used those hours to pray for the needs of others. I have seen how my friends have used their cancer or their infertility journey to share with others about the hope that they have in Christ despite their circumstances.

We do not walk through these seasons of facing human physical limitation without being changed. And we can be changed for the better or worse. We can become bitter and discouraged or we can accept limitation as a different type of gift even if this takes a long time to see.

Experiencing the limitations of our physical body can make us stronger.

We can learn to treat our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, made in the image of God and needing care as a matter of stewardship and for the good of ourselves and others.

We can learn to listen to the "alarm" systems in our body that our God-given for our protection.

We can learn to appreciate our bodies without worshipping health and making it ultimate, but rather knowing when to lay down self-protection for the good of another.

If you are in a season of physical weakness, what are you hearing as you slow down?

Or, if you are in a season of strength, how can you prepare physically for future seasons of physical shifts?

Emotional weakness

What is emotional weakness? I am going to define it here as when we can't keep our emotions in the proper place in our lives. Emotions are good things! Incredible gifts! Meant to show us what is truly happening inside of us so that we can engage with God and others in an honest and developmental way.

But sometimes we have emotions that we know don't line up with truth even though they FEEL true. And these very real emotions can't always be resolved easily.

Here are a few examples that came to my mind although we could write a whole book (and many have) on this topic.

We feel insecure and jealous around certain people. We know that what they have or who they are does not take away from any of the things God has planned in our lives but we can't seem to stop our competitive outlook.

What about fear and overwhelm? We know we are told to not fret or fear so many times in Scripture and we also know that trouble is to be expected in life but that God has always promised His presence to never leave us and to overcome the world in due time. But we still wake up in a panic attack. We still melt down crying at the thought of our to do list. We don't feel strong. We feel weak.

Anger and irritability are another common repetitive emotional pattern that make us feel discouraged and worn out and sad at the destruction that we leave in our way when we give vent to these emotions and allow them to create a stressful, tense, threatening environment to those around us. It can be so hard to stop reacting to our life based on our strong emotion and to start intentionally responding to our circumstances based on what is true.

There are also those of us who have a hard time letting any emotion out becuase we worry that they will take over but this is another form of emotional inaptitude because these emotions find a way out in some way-- over-eating or not sleeping or carrying it in our body as tension.

If we want to live emotionally aware lives and be emotionally intelligent people, we have to face that our emotional weaknesses often reveal what is really going on beaneath the surface deep inside of us.

When we we pay appropriate attention to what is "beneath the hood" so to speak, (tolerating emotions, not always tolerating the behaviors that accompany those emotions) we grow.

We become emotionally STRONGER as we address those things that our emotions tell us need to be addressed. We allow God to search us and know us and show us what is "off" inside of us and inform us with truth and grace and the hope that we can change.

And then instead of feeling run by these emotions, we learn to pay attention to them --not giving them all weight or no weight and we become stronger overall.

Our relationships benefit. Our faith is actually expressed in sancitifed behavior. We become more chracterized by righteousness.

What emotions make you feel weak?

How would paying appropriate attention to those emotions and what they are signaling be to your advantage?

Spiritual weakness

I love the story of the man who says to Jesus..."I believe, help my unbelief."

What a great way to say ...I have faith but in so many ways I actually still don't, so can you help?

Spiritual neediness in Scripture is always met with provision by God. It may not be exactly the way that we picture it playing out but we are told that when we draw near to God by acknowledging out spiritual need, He draws near to us.

So spiritual "weakness" is to our advantage if it drives us to Jesus. From this place of admitting weakness we experience a rebirth, as Jesus explained to Nichodemus, that changes our whole identity from one of frailty and death to being saved and brought into the process of becoming spirtually strong in our new identity in Christ.

But what about after we have surrendered to Christ and still feel spritually weak at times?

This might look like doubt. Wondering if this is all true? Wondering if following Jesus is worth it? Wondering where God is in our pain or in time periods when we feel like He is silent?

Or maybe we feel spritually weak in our fight against sin. We do what we don't want to do but we dont' know why. We fall into the same temptations again and again. We wonder how we could be so weak in the fight.

Or maybe spirtual things just take a backseat in our life and we wonder why we are so "jv" at pursing God and spiritual disciplines.

Spiritual weakness can be a very dark place to be and we have an enemy who would LOVE to keep us there.

But we get to fight back. We fight by clinging to the Word of God, meditating on it and praying it and saying it out loud. We fight back by asking others to walk with us and remind us of truth. We fight back by simply getting up each day and living out of what we know to be true no matter what circumstances seem to tell us or what doubts creep in.

Our only option is to keep fighting because if have placed our trust in God, we actually know that the end of the story is victory and we fight from the place of certainty even when our circumstances feel widly uncertain.

This is something we do again and again and again.

All of life is repentance.

Repentance is returning to who we know is true and what we know is true.

Knowing that He never changes and is ready with open arms like the father of the prodigal to welcome us home, whatver our stance towards him has been in our weakness.

I've heard it said that to follow Christ "all we need is need."

And weaknesses are just that. Need. No matter the category, let your weakness send you to the cross to see what Jesus has done for you. For the first time or for the millionth time. We never outgrow the good news of our salvation and redeption and healing.

Christ came to make you strong in Him. So look boldly at your weaknesses and then look with hope at Jesus. Let the reality that you have weakness gently lead you to your Savior who is waiting to turn your weakness into true strength.

What is your next step towards Christ today?

In this with you,

Lauren